another moral hangover. fuck.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
