i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
