My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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