I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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