He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
