Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
