Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
