it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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