all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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