OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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