I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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