he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
