can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
