So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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