well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
