that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
