Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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