It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
