so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
