thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
