if you like me you must not know who I am
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
