i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I have feelings that need drinking.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
