just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
