There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
