i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
