wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
