garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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