He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
