It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
