You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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