Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
