why didn't you poke me back
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
