Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
