I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
