so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
