Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
