so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
