fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
