The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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