drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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