No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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