How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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