oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
