she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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