if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
