wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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