I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
