I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
