Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
