at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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