There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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