How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
