How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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