i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm always down for nudity.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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